Having bipolar disorder is not easy. The lows are sometimes unbearable and the highs wear me out.
The depressions have made it hard to function and it takes all my strength to get through the day sometimes.
The manic episodes are awful and have lead to damaging things. For example, I have lost relationships, spent money I didn’t have, and subjected myself to embarrassment and humiliation. They also have caused me to be admitted to psychiatric facilities.
The struggle is real. It is undaunting at times and sometimes I don’t even know how I am going to put one foot in front of the other.
People who know what I have gone through consider my a strong person. I have always just looked at it like I get through it the best I can.
I think now I m going to now look at my self as a strong person. I often feel like a failure when I have gotten through the day and haven’t accomplished anything. When I get discharged from the hospital I feel like I have failed myself and there. The things I have done leading to my hospitalization are embarrassing and oftentimes I have said and done things I normally would not do. I usually have hurt people I love or burnt bridges or scared people off.
I am going to start looking at these as failures. I will start looking them as obstacles I have overcome. To conquer the the things i have had to dreal with has taken strength. To keep getting up after I have stumbled makes me a fighter!
To keep climbing the mountain of life as someone who struggles with bipolar disorder is so difficult at times. I oftentimes have to take on one mole hill at a time, but I do conquer it.
Because I keep conquering every day, manic or depressed, puts me in a different category. Living with a mental illness is something that 25%of the population does. I am in that category of people who not only endure and survive the battle, but have had to deal with the stigma too.
Yes, I am going to think more positive and consider myself a champion!
Bipolar Bandit (Michelle Clark) 
Thank you for sharing your story. I know just talking about bipolar condition can be difficult. For me the most difficult part of bipolar illness is the stigma and the sometimes allusive ability to forgive myself for those things I have done when I was truly ill. I don’t suppose I would judge a person who was having an epileptic seizure while driving and ran off the road and wrecked the car hurting people inside. And yet, I do judge myself for the harm I have done to others while my bipolar illness was out of control. I promise I will do better to forgive myself and wish the same for you.
I agree that the stigma makes it so much harder. I hope you are better at looking at yourself in a more positive way. It will be a challenge, but I hope to be better at it too.
Living each day with compassion for ourselves and others, we win each day’s struggle. Thanks for this post.
Exactly! It sounds like you have a positive way of dealing with life.
I am working on my bravery in revealing my bipolar diagnosis. Meanwhile I am on a keto diet which is helping me have fewer mood swings. For me, looking at my life as a learning experience gives it meaning.