When you are in a deep depression, it is hard to motivate yourself to do anything. It can be difficult to get out of bed, take a shower, talk to friends and even family, exercise, or find anything that you enjoy.
So, if you can’t even get out of bed, how in the world are you supposed to talk to anyone?
I am somewhat an introvert anyway unless I am manic. Therefore when I am depressed, I am even more apt to not want to talk to anyone and it is torturous to be in a large crowd.
When I am depressed and don’t want to even go outside, how am I supposed to go to a function and not make it obvious I am depressed. I can tell some people, but most people don’t understand so I don’t bother explaining.
People have asked me why I am so quiet. What do I tell them?
I try to avoid going out anywhere, but there are some times I have to go be around people. For example, I recently had go to a graduation party. I dreaded it because I knew I would be around people. Granted, I knew some of them, but very few of those people knew I suffered from bipolar disorder and even the ones that do don’t really understand deep depression.
I suppose the way I deal with people when I am depressed is fake it until I make it. I tried to hang around my husband most of the time, but when he went off and did other things with friends he had not seen in years, I was left alone and only knew a few of his family members and others. I just give that fake smile (yes-the one that people who suffer from depression have to do) and would try to listen to others and say something once in awhile so it was not totally awkward. Thank goodness there were some people who loved to talk so it was not too strange I did not say much.
Luckily, I found someone who I did not know who struck up a conversation with me and we kept the conversation going for a long time. I was proud of myself for doing that. If I had my choice I would have crawled up into a ball and not talk to anyone. I actually enjoyed the conversation. Of course, there is always the question what do I do for a living. I can answer I used to be a teacher and worked for my dad for awhile, but am currently looking. It is mostly telling the truth, but I am on disability and I can’t just tell someone that I hardly know.
I have not written in awhile because I have been depressed and can’t think of any topics that might interest anyone. I like to end on a positive note and try to “teach” something to my readers. I am not sure if this does either one, but wanted to write something.
On a positive note, like I like to end it: You can do it! The worst thing that can happen is people think you are strange or quiet and you can just brush that off. Like my dad says, “who cares what people think” I know that is easier said than done.
Be proud of yourself for forcing yourself into the situation even though you have been dreading it for weeks. Pat yourself on the shoulder knowing that you did the best you could do. You pushed yourself and got out of the house and will actually feel better by doing so.