April 28, 2013
You make me so unique in a way that only I can understand. You allow me to be expressive in ways that are unimaginable. You are my best and worst friend. You are built directly into my mind and I will live with you always. Together we have accomplished so much. You take me on a ride that can only be explained by superhuman abilities. You then decide for me that I have had too much and you throw me right into the deep darkest corner of hell. You give me days off where it just feels like I am all alone and have complete control over everything. You then remind me of how much control you really have. I have accomplished a complete life change and then you tell me to take it away. Why should you suggest suicide when you and I are so deeply connect and will never be alone? We make a whole person in the way we dance through our minds into euphoria then return to only be humbled by the insanity we create together.
You and I make others look too us for the crazy that exists in this world. Others run in fear while others just join the world we create together. I have come to see a whole new light since you and I have felt the power to see God and then to only return ourselves to hell. I see you for who you are now Bipolar. I love you and you will always be a part of me. Maybe one day we can be just a simple combination of self. How happy we could make each other if we just allowed the insanity to come in and keep it to ourselves. You insist that I take part in your madness and let my mouth, body and thoughts run freely without no boundaries. How selfish you are Bipolar to keep me to yourself. You then see that I am happy without you and then again you take over and put me back into the shadows I just crawled out of.
Bipolar I love you but it is time to make a compromise. You have made me so happy in my own mind that people look at us funny. No one can understand the euphoric sense of a simple joke, such as I saw this cat and it….. You have allowed me to be free and express myself in so many ways to create a new life for us. You then have the need to take this new found sense of self and destroy it and everyone around you.
Dear Bipolar I must understand you, but first you must know that I am in control and I only forget to remember who I really am without you. This is the most precious relationship anyone can have with themselves. This gives a person a complete understanding of every aspect of human understanding and then you and I go and figure out some more cool stuff to do.
You and I bounce back and forth like a volleyball and told to never touch the net. You and I then know that touching the net is what we want. To be in the middle of everything and ourselves.
You will not let me work, yet you force me to be in the center of attention only to take it away from ourselves. How can I do this to you Bipolar and then let you do the same to me. Only you understand the mind you and I created and it must stop. We must share who we are if we ever want to live in a true sense of life. I want happiness and you want control over me. You force me to be alone and then I create a sense of self that only I can understand. We must stop
I want to be in the middle without you and I dancing around the drain of emotions. I think I owe it to you and you to me to learn how to be a true part of each other’s life. It is time to open the door and say come on in, be a part of this crazy happy sad world I have created with my best friend Bipolar.
Christyna L Green