It starts when I was adopted at 3 days old.The family thought I was special and I had a good early childhood but that changed when special turned into different as the symptoms of bi-polar started to surface when i was 12 years old.
The first time I was hospitalized was when I was 16 and was diagnosed schizophrenic. This was changed to bipolar disorder a year later. By 18, I had run away from home and I didn’t see my parents for 2 years. I believe now that I was manic for all of that time.
I was raped several times and that destroyed what little self esteem I had left.I arrived back home a wreck,unable to communicate,suffering insomnia, and weighing about 110 pounds.
Within 3 weeks I was gone again and within a year I was married to a man who would turn out to be a monster.At this point I was not medicated although I had been for parts of the previous 2 years. I had two children who are now 26 and 24 and then the marriage disintegrated.
I was pregnant with my third child when I met the man I am married to now.I suffered very bad post natal depression after having my son and when he was 9 months old I got help and was finally medicated for the first time in ten years. However, when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I had to stop taking the medications or I might lose the baby. It was a time of huge anxiety as I was worried about my little girl.
She was born 10 weeks early weighing 3lbs 12 ounces. She is now 21. Soon after this, I started counselling for all the issues that I hadn’t dealt with over the years and I began to settle down.
I still wasn’t medicated so there were times when I was very manic, but I had a wonderfully supportive husband who tried to keep my stress levels to a minimum. Five years later I had my youngest daughter and finally got medicated. I have been on these medications for 16 years. Since then, my life has improved immensely. However, a few traumas have caused me to have panic attacks which I still suffer from to this day.
My journey has been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I still want to get off but I have a lot of support and for the most part now I cope .Also in the last six years I have gained two mental health qualifications and have worked helping people with mental health issues.This year I set up and manage a pre-loved clothing and baby gear shop. I am proud of what I have achieved and want to encourage others to follow their dreams.
17 years ago I found my birth mother and four sisters and 3 brothers. We are all have bipolar disorder.