Starting at the age of 13, I started getting depressed for no reason for about two weeks at a time. I saw a psychiatrist and was in a group with other teenagers who were having difficulty. I was not put on medicine. The appointments with my psychiatrist did not help because I was not depressed about anything in particular. I would cry for hours at a time, could not do my schoolwork or even simple chores. It is believed now that after my bout of depression I would have a mini manic episode because I would catch up with my two weeks of school work in two days.
At the age of 17, I was in a play and things were going ok at school. I suddenly stopped sleeping and not listening to my parents. I went and stayed with a friend. My friend called my parents in the middle of the night because I was cleaning his mom’s house in the middle of the night.
My mom tried to get me to sleep by giving me a lot of benadryl and nothing worked. She called my aunt who worked as a nurse on a psychiatric ward to see what my parents should do. I remember being in the Emergency Room and huddled up into a ball. Then, I was given a shot (haldol) and don’t remember anything else until I woke up in a psychiatric hospital’s icu ward.
I remember taking a lot of showers and being confused about what room was mine. I also remember not being able to keep track of my clothes. I remember pacing in small area and looking outside the door seeing other patients not in the icu walking around. I remember thinking I wanted to be out there.
Eventually, I was transferred out of there. I was the youngest person on the whole floor.
My Mom’s Recollection:
She had escalated over several weeks. She had cut her own beautiful hair. She wore two different sneakers and was really bizarre when she particpated in the St. Patrick’s Day parade. We forbid her to practice anymore at her play practice. She stole the car and went to a friend’s house. Her friend called because he said I was in the bathtub and said she couldn’t get cleaned.
Her dad and I went to pick her up. We brought her to the ER and had her committed. When we saw her next, she was coloring and very child-like. She was wearing other people’s clothes. She thought she was Jesus Christ. It was like she was broken. She was flying pretty high.